hootOS

HOOT_OS - V.30

Stryxnine Amity Pulsatrix
(30/🇨🇦/Saskatchewan)
NACRS Organizer
esports broadcast producer
plural, autistic, adhd
disability & queer activist
hobbyist archival researcher
bylines in Traxion.gg
loves @kadybat and @traumagotchi and @kaceydotme

57RYX9 DESIGN - Visual FX and Graphic Design North American Cohost Racing Series organizer & founder
Big Muddy Archive News


MSN Escargot
hootwheelz@escargot.chat

maybe this is treading into potentially discriminatory and derogatory hate speech or whatever the fuck when it comes to me saying fuck neurotypical, allistic, abled people.

but i... kind of don't fucking care anymore. they had decades to figure this shit out, and people have told them time and again how to fix it, and they just fucking refuse to do it because "welfare queens" or "fraudulent lazy good-for-nothings" and you know what, i've about fucking had it. i'm not a second-class citizen. i'm not cattle. i'm a fucking human being.

if you wanna treat me like a mutt, then fine. i'll bite the hand that won't even feed me. i'll sink my teeth straight through their palms, anchor my jaw to the bone and tear their grabbers from their wrist.

or, i would. but these people have families, people who care about them. and also i would die in prison.

and also, killing is wrong.

but of course, neurotypical allistic abled people are uniquely positioned to be the only people on Earth capable of knowing killing is bad... unless it's hidden behind a thin veil of bureaucracy. THEN it's fine to outright murder a motherfucker.



hootOS
@hootOS

im just fucking tired. it's exhausting having to acknowledge that i'm a financial burden. i'm a waste of money. i am money that could be going to anything else more useful, but because my disabled ass exists people are stuck trying to take care of me. the government is supposed to be helping my family help me, but they don't. they'd rather advertise for a telecom company that competes with our own crown corporation SaskTel, because "Bell Let's Talk Day" does the exact performative nothingness every corporate skinwalker loves to use to massage their egos and pretend they're doing something without putting in the work.

i can't work. i'm too fucking busy trying to make sure i don't die to be able to work. i shouldn't have to be fucking doing this. i shouldn't have to feel miserable every day i wake up and realize i'm alive and being treated like i'm not worthy of any of it.

and yet. here i am. having to lie to myself and say "maybe it'll get better" because surely people can't be this evil, this ignorant, this sick in the head to be fine letting people like me just wither away and die. and yet, year after year, nothing changes. because people are totally fine letting me die. they can sleep at night while they let it happen, and they sleep peacefully. it sickens me. it sickens me to my damn core that i am somehow the same species as these vile, disgusting robots.


hootOS
@hootOS

Actually, hang on.

Who even said Autistic people lack empathy anyways? Every autistic person I know who hears about this shit hates that it happens and wants life to improve for me.

Wanna know who doesn't think about lives like mine? Wanna know who doesn't worry about people being left out and falling behind? Wanna know who doesn't feel guilt or regret about destroying the lives of others while advertising themselves as having given a shit?

neurotypical, allistic, abled people.

Who said Autistic people lacked empathy?

neurotypical, allistic, abled people.



im just fucking tired. it's exhausting having to acknowledge that i'm a financial burden. i'm a waste of money. i am money that could be going to anything else more useful, but because my disabled ass exists people are stuck trying to take care of me. the government is supposed to be helping my family help me, but they don't. they'd rather advertise for a telecom company that competes with our own crown corporation SaskTel, because "Bell Let's Talk Day" does the exact performative nothingness every corporate skinwalker loves to use to massage their egos and pretend they're doing something without putting in the work.

i can't work. i'm too fucking busy trying to make sure i don't die to be able to work. i shouldn't have to be fucking doing this. i shouldn't have to feel miserable every day i wake up and realize i'm alive and being treated like i'm not worthy of any of it.

and yet. here i am. having to lie to myself and say "maybe it'll get better" because surely people can't be this evil, this ignorant, this sick in the head to be fine letting people like me just wither away and die. and yet, year after year, nothing changes. because people are totally fine letting me die. they can sleep at night while they let it happen, and they sleep peacefully. it sickens me. it sickens me to my damn core that i am somehow the same species as these vile, disgusting robots.



man im feeling so hopeless right now. sask party has a stranglehold on my province and shows every intention of letting our disability support system deteriorate into a handshake and a pat on the back rather than the genuine help we all need, voters can't be swayed away from voting for the Sask Party because they're a bunch of hypernationalist fools, and nobody in my proximity is willing to fucking help. I've emailed a variety of groups that are supposed to help people like me across the province and received no fucking responses. and i'm not the only one who seems to have fallen into a fucking dead zone.

i'm fucking mad. i don't deserve this. nobody on this planet deserves this. and yet, this is where we are. begging people on the internet for help because our government is busy shmoozing with corpos, drinking champagne and laughing as their own constituents die by their own hands.

and nothing can be done, because no matter how straight i play it, every fucking voter is going to assume i'm being overdramatic and just want to be lazy.

i fucking hate it. i hate abled, neurotypical, allistic people. they are on the whole some of the least ethical, least rational and most evil motherfuckers on the planet. they have no conscience, no voice in their head questioning their motives, no guilt, no regret. they just fuck people over at every chance they get, and for fucking what? what do these sickos get out of doing shit like this?